Family Counseling

If your marriage isn’t as amazing as you believe it could be, I can help you and your spouse identify areas of improvement and ways to restore and enhance your connection with your spouse.

What Issues Are Most Commonly Dealt With in Family Counseling?

While every family is unique, there are a number of things that typically cause strain on any family and often generate situations for which family counseling is an excellent resource:
  • Divorce and subsequent adjustment to two homes as well as blended families
  • Affairs and restoration after affairs
  • Family finances
  • Loss of a family member or close friend
  • Substance abuse (parent and/or child)
  • Parental concerns about child/adolescent behavior and/or mental health
  • Parental concerns about academics or school social experience
  • Ongoing/chronic illness of a family member or close friend
  • Communication issues
This list is by no means comprehensive and there are as many combinations of concerns and levels of severity as there are families.
The good news is that no matter what your concerns or how far you think your family is from where you’d like it to be, there is HOPE. And your motivation to see more life, joy, and peace for your family is admirable. You don’t have to go through these challenges alone – a family counselor can help guide you and your family through and out of these difficulties.
An experienced counseling professional will be able to offer not only advice and guidance but also equip you with resources, techniques, and approaches that can address each of the above listed areas of concern and more.

Should You Get Family Counseling When Things Are Going Well?

Absolutely!
You do not need to be in crisis to benefit from Family Counseling. Perhaps you are just looking for that “extra something” to bring your family closer together or to get more ideas about how to connect more deeply with your spouse and your kids.
Maybe nothing is specifically *wrong* but wouldn’t it be great to have some help identifying simple and creative ways to bring your family closer together? What would it look like to have less “screen time” and more laughter, more fun, more kindness to each other (including the siblings), and more connection in the day-to-day?
Those are all GREAT reasons to meet with a family counselor – there may be an initial “why are we doing this?” moment for some family members but that will become abundantly clear after implementing some of the tools and techniques with which your family counselor will equip you.
Not to mention, the right family counselor should be experienced in helping kids and adults be at ease in their sessions and should provide some context and communicate purpose in a way that helps promote buy-in across the board.

How Should You Choose a Family Counselor?

The best referral for a family counselor comes from someone you already trust, like a pastor or a good friend or family member. When that source is not available, you can develop a list of your own needs and preferences for a good fit between you and a counselor.
Some fairly obvious parts of a list are right price, convenient location, and availability. More important are the counselor’s level of experience with your set of issues, the maturity they bring, and the spiritual values and guiding principles that guide the counselor.
Your list can guide you in your very first interaction with the counselor. The phone call can yield a lot of clarity, especially if you are assertive with your questions. It may feel invasive to ask personal questions of the counselor but you are entrusting him with your very precious relationship. Ask away!
And if the fit seems right but the price is too high, it’s appropriate to ask early on regarding any option to receive a reduced price.

Is Family Counseling Really Worth It?

Like many things in life, you will generally get out of it what you put into it. Meaning, that you could get the best advice, tools, approaches, and information in existence but if you aren’t willing to implement at least some of these in your life, you won’t really experience much benefit.
Unlike a medical doctor, a family counselor can’t prescribe something for you to take that will do the work for you. Relationships always require intentionality and the investment of time and energy to make them great.
The good news is that you WILL be armed with excellent input that CAN change your life and the lives of those in your family for the better! You don’t have to stay where you are (even if that’s a generally good place). There is more available to you – more joy, more peace, more connection, more satisfaction, more LIFE when you make the choice to put a family counselor in your corner. They will be with you, for you, and help get you where you want to be.

Does the Whole Family Have to Attend Family Counseling?

So, this is a common question because it can be so disheartening to think of all the potential pushback from various family members.
A few things on this topic…
Perhaps the whole family is ready for a change and you have no problem meeting with a family counselor as a whole crew – FANTASTIC! This is an amazing starting point.
However, let me take some pressure off and acknowledge that if even just one member of the family is ready to engage in intentional growth through individual counseling, that can pay huge dividends for a family.
To that end, if spouses are willing to engage marriage counseling together, that impact is multiplied.
If, after experiencing counseling as a couple, you feel ready to bring the kids, this is where you as a family can start getting real-time help and feedback as well as new tools and techniques to improve your collective relationships and start identifying less-than-ideal patterns and start the process of changing the patterns of thought and behavior that need to change.